5 Things To Consider When Dealing with Difficult People

You are not the issue, & they are not the issue.
We all have many things we’ve been through; whether it be positive or negative experiences.

Those are the experiences that shape our perspective.
Even if someone is intentionally trying to be difficult and give you a hard time it can also tell you something about yourself. Release control and shift your perspective.

It would be childish to rub it in when someone is wrong. In the end, all you’d be doing is poking fun at their inability to see things from YOUR perspective.

“Haha I saw from this angle and you’re just now seeing it bozo” is how I imagine it might sound.

Quite frankly I myself have done this before, maybe not to that extreme. Conceptually trying to push my beliefs on others, forcing them to see what I see… wasn’t moral.

Similar to rollercoasters or movies; you’d be spoiling the best parts if you forced someone they wisdom you harness. Let them experience their perspective and come across the knowledge when they’re ready. If they’re interested in how you view things then so be it, until then just vibe.

At times, being the bigger person is rather difficult. The way I like to look at it is this:

Granted, I’m not insinuating that the other party isn’t being loving or kind for that matter. I am simply looking at the situation from a compassionate perspective.

What this might look like:
- Someone being rude or impatient with you.
- Snarky remarks from an individual.
- Being blackmailed or sabotaged.

All while these aren’t very pleasant experiences you can always shift the circumstance with your intention and perspective.

Realize that it’s not you’re fault. Evidently enough, the other party can’t embrace their emotions in a healthy manner. You just so happened to be the outlet. Maybe they’re having a bad day, maybe their S.O broke up with them. It’s not your issue if you weren’t intentionally provoking them! Embrace the feeling and keep it pushing. Don’t let it ruin your day.

Use their insults to your advantage. Address the thing or idea that they’re insulting and improve upon said thing if you feel the need to. Oftentimes people project their insecurities onto others. “Wow thank you for bringing that to my attention” works like a charm.

Release expectations of the outcome. This person is obviously out to get you. Don’t engage in any arguments or disagreements, it’ll only add more fuel to the fire. Create separation. Come to terms with the notion that this person definitely has some healing to do.

Occasionally as humans, we can get caught up in our sense of pride. Unintentionally as well, confidence can easily be mistaken as excessive pride. To combat this, I recommend reading the book Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday. I may need to re-read it as well. It challenges the readers in many ways and brings them back down to earth.

First and foremost: Why are you so stiff? You know that insults have nothing to do with you right? The way people treat you has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with how they feel internally.

I’m not telling you to be a stick in the mud or to be someone’s punching bag. Stand up for yourself when necessary! In addition; choose your battles wisely.

Think of life and interactions with others as a game. Deciding you don’t want to play the game will result in a forfeit & will inevitably make those around you frustrated. Play the game. Someone who is constantly insulting you is someone who is obviously looking for a reaction. Furthermore, it is all about your perspective of the insult: You might be able to use what they say to your advantage and improve yourself.

Do you see where I’m headed now?

Take time to listen and empathize with where the other party is coming from.
Hear them out. Let’s assume we’re playing by “the game” analogy, use listening and understanding as a means of measurement (of your growth). The more perspectives you understand, the stronger your character will become. EVEN IF YOU DON'T AGREE (you don’t have to).

Becoming a strong listener is so much more than simply listening and comprehending. I finally learned that listening requires you to be attentive even if you aren’t interested or in agreement.

Furthermore, utilize their beliefs as a resource to your benefit.

Remember, the more knowledge you obtain, the wiser & stronger your video game 🎮 character becomes! (aka YOU!)

Moreover, listening can also improve the relationship and blah blah

Lastly, I’d like to include this last one. This is more of a last resort sort of option.

Leave, simply put. If you wanna be a poor sport and quit before you have the chance to win; leave. Leaving is the equivalent of forfeit. I would also like to articulate that I’m not telling you to stay in a toxic environment. Use your discernment and intuition. A difficult person is like a boss battle. Finding a way to maneuver through this boss will result in you officially moving to the next level. The universe will continuously recycle the same lessons that you haven’t learned (trust me I know). It’s best you defeat the boss once and for all.

Thank you for reading!

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