I was Definitely not Designed for Brothels!

My first — and only — experience in one of them was, at the very least, hilarious!

I had a very intense love affair while I was very young, twenty-one, twenty-two years old. Unfortunately, it didn’t end well. The girl was just as stubborn and arrogant as me, and when we broke up, we never got back, even though we still liked each other. When one decided to give in, the other snubbed, and vice versa.

This “dance” took place for about three years. We wanted, in a way, to keep the flame burning… But that was hurting me. I knew she was seeing someone, and even though — according to her — it was nothing serious, I decided to put an end to it. Either she would come back with me at once, or I would let her go.

I called her and arranged to meet. She told me to go to her building — we didn’t have cell phones at the time — and get her in the intercom. I did it. Then she asked me to wait for her in the garage. I found it strange. I asked her why I couldn’t go up or why she could go down and meet me at the lobby. She replied that her boyfriend was coming and she didn’t want him to see us together.

I dropped the intercom and left.

I was devastated, but I had already made up my mind: since we are not back together, I would let her go. The problem was that I was so sad that I couldn’t even think straight. It was at this point that I decided to call one of my best friends. Maybe going to a nightclub with him would not do me any good?

My friend said he would stop by my house with two more guys. We would go to a famous nightclub in São Paulo in the nineties, called “USA.” The problem is that it was a Wednesday and, at that time, clubs did not open during the week. The four of us were in the car, not knowing what to do — after all, if that trendy disco were closed, the others would be too — when one of the guys, the only one I didn’t know yet, suggested: let’s go to a brothel.

My two friends and I looked at each other. None of us had ever been to a brothel; we liked to conquer girls, not pay for sex. My two friends, politely, said no… But I thought, “Wow, I want to be distracted! I want to stop thinking about my ex-girlfriend! If I go to a place like this, I will…

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